Where did you get a picture of my penis
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
