I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
