If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
