Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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