The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
