Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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