Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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