hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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