that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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