the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
its not stalking. its research.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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