margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
