I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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