Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize