hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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