You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
