Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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