So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
