Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
