guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
