honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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