What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
