There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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