Can i not drive my cunt home
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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