Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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