a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
