just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
