Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Randomize
