Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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