Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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