is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
