how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
