I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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