i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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