Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
