thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
