He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
