lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
