o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
