we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
