I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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