I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
