somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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