Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
