3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
