Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My liver just had a heart attack.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
