ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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