u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
