i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
