She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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