why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well I just put wine in my tea
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
