remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
